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Friends & Family · Boundaries

What you can and cannot control

Support is something you offer. Responsibility for recovery is not yours.

Last reviewed: 13 August 2026

You can

  • Raise concerns and explain the impact on you
  • Encourage treatment or support
  • Encourage self-exclusion, bank controls or blocking software
  • Set boundaries around your own money
  • Protect accounts you are entitled to manage
  • Seek debt advice and support for yourself
  • Decide how involved you can safely remain

You cannot

  • Force another competent adult to recover
  • Secretly register another competent adult for GAMSTOP
  • Guarantee that a bank gambling block stops every payment route
  • Guarantee abstinence
  • Monitor someone indefinitely
  • Take control of another adult's finances without consent or legal authority
  • Make yourself responsible for their recovery

GAMSTOP requires the person's choice

A relative cannot register another competent adult with GAMSTOP. The person must choose to register themselves unless the relative is lawfully authorised, for example through valid legal authority such as Power of Attorney.

You can encourage registration, sit with them while they complete it, and help them understand what the scheme covers.

Controls have limits

Self-exclusion, bank controls and blocking software can add useful barriers. None guarantees abstinence or complete coverage. They work best when the person chooses to use them alongside appropriate support.

Boundaries are about your actions

A boundary describes your action, not how you will control theirs. It is not a punishment, threat or method for indefinitely monitoring another person.

"I won't lend money to cover gambling losses."

This describes what you will do with your own money.

"If shouting starts, I'm ending the conversation."

This describes the action you will take to protect your wellbeing.

For young people

A parent's gambling is not yours to fix.

If money, arguments, instability or caring responsibilities are affecting you, tell an adult you trust. You are allowed to ask for support for yourself. You do not need to confront or manage the adult who is gambling.

Contact Childline

If you are worried about your own gambling, this service can also help you find age-appropriate support.

Useful barriers, not promises

Self-exclusion

The person normally has to choose and register for it themselves.

Bank controls

They may block identified gambling payments, but not every route.

Blocking software

It can restrict supported sites, apps or devices, but coverage is not complete.

These tools can create friction, but none transfers responsibility for recovery to a family member.

Authoritative sources